So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
