im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
