I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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