Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
