Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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