...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize