I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
