My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.