my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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