Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.