Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

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(480): View more from Arizona

I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.

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