Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog