We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
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Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.