Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory