evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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