Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
