Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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