I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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