you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize