just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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