Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize