when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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