piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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