i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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