We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
