Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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