Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
