the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
