i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
