is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
