STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
