we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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