i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
