dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
