And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A bitchslap is in order.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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