return my video game
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
