of course. lets lasso hookers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
