Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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