i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
