Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
