i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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