...so i touched it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
