break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This girl is more easily done than said...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Operation Purity has been aborted
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
