is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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