are you still at the devil's house?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize