I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
