i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
