Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
