i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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