Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize