Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
