mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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