i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
