Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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