Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
