wat bout pragnant strippers??
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i out mim tonsoeep
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