I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Say something about gay babies.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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