home. puking in laundry basket.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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