Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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