i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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