i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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