I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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