NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
