Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
