He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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