this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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