your parents love me but you hate me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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