a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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