I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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