It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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