forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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