just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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